A Cure for Resentment

Years ago, my husband and I let several friends stay in our house with us for over a year and only asked for a small rent the last few months. Three couples and a bachelor meant a full house, little alone time and three queens trying to rule the roost. Okay, really it was only two and one that stayed off to the side. On a few occasions the disagreements escalated into shouting matches. The third queen, who was very young, was also very sensitive and I know the fighting caused a lot of stress. Though she was never dramatic there were several occasions where her actions were petty. The time I was most surprised was when I asked her if she would give my husband a ride to the place she was already going and would be leaving at the same time. She said no she didn’t want to drive him. I was livid. The past two weeks, our husbands, who worked in the same place, had to go to a facility which was an hour and half drive one way. I would drop them off and then return later the day to pick them. No offer was made to compensate for gas and neither spoke their thanks. I realize that you shouldn’t always doing things expecting anything in return, but as they lived with us for free for so long running up the utility bill and catching rides with us, I felt that the least she could do was let my husband ride with her. I should also mention that she was giving a ride to the bachelor and the other wife, but still had two open seats in the car. Months later when they moved out, they packed up all their items and just left. No goodbyes. No thank you. We knew they were moving, but thought they would at least say goodbye.

 

I was hurt. We had done a lot for this couple and though living together in a crowded house wasn’t always easy, I still cared for her. For a long time I felt hurt and resentment towards the couple. I knew I shouldn’t waste my energy over it and knew I needed to let it go, but it was hard for me. A little over a year later, I found she was pregnant. It was hard to hear since I have struggled to try and get pregnant. Still, I wished we had at least enough of a friendship that I would see the announcement on facebook; she unfriended me when they moved out of the house. I decided to try and look up her registry at the most common places at which people register. Eventually, I found her and decided to send her a smaller item along with a note on the gift slip wishing them all the best and prayers for a healthy baby.

This act, which took relatively little time and effort was freeing for me. I no longer felt the hurt from their actions. I felt like I had done everything I could to help them, to be their friend, and to apologize for the times I was in the wrong.

There is no better way to cure hurt than to bless those who did the hurting.

 

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